INSPIRATION

I decided although my last couple of postings have been informative, they may not have been very encouraging . So, I thought I would share a story about my daughter and her children.

The last few days here have been bitterly cold and windy. The snow is beautiful and inviting, but it is just too cold to go outside and play in it. Carlie and Sam have been very restless. I'm sure most of you know that a restless 2 year old and 4 year old can become a handful without a lot of creativity. Crissy usually has a daily "project" for the children. They have made everything from placemats made with leaves and clear contact paper to a giraffe growth chart they've hung inside the coat closet door. Their projects usually involve something small enough to create while sitting at the kitchen table. Desperate times call for desperate measures -

Today, right in the middle of the living room floor, they built a pirate ship. I arrived to find a child-sized pirate ship sitting in the middle of the living room floor. They made it using cardboard boxes, wrapping paper (sail), broom handle (mast), and tons of creativity. This was complete with two black eye patches so they both could pretend to be pirates. All we needed now was the weird parrot toy my sister had several years ago that talked.

I'm sure the time spent creating the ship and pretending to be pirates helped keep the children entertained for hours.

Crissy's daily routine of cooking, cleaning, nursing the baby, changing diapers, and working on potty training a two year old, along with all her other responsibilities keeps her extremely busy and I'm sure, exhausted at times. Yet she realizes that her main responsibility is to her children. To be present and available to them. Sometimes it is hard to motivate yourself to get up off the couch and do one more "little thing". Remember, "little things" can be a "big thing" to your child. Spending time with your child, reading, singing, or just making eye contact, needs to be a part of your daily routine.

Read it For Yourself

I spent a little time today looking for information regarding attachment parenting. One site I found that had a lot of seemingly good information is ParentingWeb. I spent a few minutes going to the various areas of this website and found several articles that might be of interest to you if you are considering attachment parenting.

1. Connecting with Your New Baby - by Keri Baker

2. Co-Sleeping: Another Way to Promote Infant Health - by Jennifer Coburn

2. Attachment Parenting: The Components of a Nurturing, Instinctive Parenting Style - by Keri Baker

3. A Few Good Reasons to Wear Your Baby: Baby Wearing

4. Gentle Discipline - This links you to several articles regarding this topic.

Guidelines for Attachment Parenting

A friend of mine brought it to my attention that my blog didn't really give a good definition of attachment parenting. I didn't take into consideration those who might read my blog that have had no experience with this topic. I wanted to make sure I didn't provide incorrect information, so found the following information about attachment parenting on the Attachment Parenting International website. According to their website:

Attachment Parenting is a philosophy based in the practice of nurturing parenting practices that create strong emotional bonds, also known as secure attachment, between the infant and parent(s). This style of parenting encourages responsiveness to the infant or child's emotional needs, and develops trust that their emotional needs will be met. As a result, this strong attachment helps the child develop secure, empathic, peaceful, and enduring relationships.

For those of you with infants this site provides the Eight Ideals for Infants with an explanation of each of these ideals. The 8 Ideals for Infants are:

1. Preparation for Childbirth

2. Emotional Responsiveness

3. Breastfeed your Baby

4. Baby Wearing

5. Shared sleep and Safe Sleeping Guidelines

6. Avoid frequent and prolonged separations

7. Positive Discipline

8. Maintain balance in your family life

For those of you with school-age children this site provides the Eight Ideals of Attachment Parenting for the School-age Child with an explanation of each of these ideals. The 8 ideals for school-age children are:

1. Become knowledgeable about your child's development and cognitive levels.

2. Stay emotionally responsive.

3. Strive for optimum physical health.

4. Maintain a high-touch relationship.

5. Develop and maintain positive sleep routines.

6. Be present and available for your children.

7. Use positive discipline.

8. Maintain balance in your life.

I hope your find this information useful and informative. If I personally had to sum all this up into one word I think I would choose the word "RESPECT".

Follow Your Heart!

My daughter sent the following message out to members of the Attachment Parenting group she co-lead in Rockford when Carlie was just a baby. Hope this helps you to trust yourself and follow your heart. You can see in the picture, Carlie has grown up to be a very self-confident child.

There were so many nights I worried over my daughters poor sleep habits. I talked to her pediatritian and many loved ones. I seemed to get the same answer....she needs to learn to fall asleep without you. Well, let me tell you, we tried. I have given it my best shot. I spent the majority of the last six months standing by my daughters crib with tears in my eyes as she screamed, neither of us understanding or accepting this method of falling asleep. Tonight as I nursed my 13 month old and was able to enjoy watching her slowly drift to sleep with no tears I felt the need to share this experience with other moms who may be doubting their parenting methods or themselves. Follow what is in your heart...mommies know what is best for their babies.

She counts her fingers
She counts her toes
She counts sheep by the rows
She tosses and turns
She rolls and she cries
She wiggles and wrestles and pokes her own eyes
I bounce her and rock her
I pat her behind
I sing and I hum until I'm loosing my mind
I pick her up...I know what to do
When you are a mommy
It comes natural to you
I hold her close, her skin like silk
and I nurse her to sleep
with her tummy full of mommy milk.

Good Advertising!

I may just be a proud Grandmother, but I feel my Grandchildren are great advertising for attachment parenting. I must admit when my first Grandchild, Carlie, was born and my daughter began to talk with me about this theory on raising children I was skeptical. She knew I would be and just discussed with me the reasons why she felt it was the way to raise children. As I began to understand just what attachment parenting involved. I agreed it wouldn't be harmful to the children, just told her I felt it would be a lot of extra work for her that I didn't think was really necessary when raising children. I wasn't sure the benefits would outweight the extra time and effort this would require from her.

I truly believe my daughter, Crissy, is an intelligent woman so I respected her wishes and did my best to follow her lead when dealing with my Grandchildren. Since she will be reading this blog I can't honestly admit I was always successful, but I can say I always tried. Now three Grandchildren later I have found myself going totally against my nature and on occasion, re-directing them when they were doing something they shouldn't be doing. About two years ago, a few months after the birth of my second Grandchild, Sam, I started to see the benefits of all Crissy's hard work in how well Carlie adjusted to a new baby in the family. The benefits are also very apparent in our new baby, Harry. He is always very content and happy rarely crying. When he does, we know something must be wrong. A couple of weeks ago I was visiting and my daughter was unable to keep Harry from crying. Nursing didn't even help. We immediately knew something must be wrong and she took him to the pediatrician. He wasn't running a fever or having any other symptoms, but the Dr. found he had an ear infection.

Four years ago I could not understand why anyone would consider raising children the way my daughter is raising hers. Now I can't understand why anyone wouldn't. Seeing the wonderful, intelligent, happy, content, confident children my Grandchildren are, I think they are good advertisement for this way of raising children.

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